Why Lovie Smith Shoud Stay As Bears Coach (NSFW!)

This is an old joke from 2000. This is why Lovie Smith deserves to stay as Chicago Bears Head Coach.
"2000 BEARS SCHEDULE



The Chicago Bears 2000 schedule and changes.

September

15................Tefft Junior High School
22................Cub Scout Troop #101
29................Chicago Blind Academy

October
6.................Spanish American War Vets
13................Crippled Children's Home
20................Elgin Mental Hospital
27................Girl Scout Troop # 353

November

3..................Illinois Venereal Disease Clinic
10.................Cicero Boys Choir
17.................Korean Amputees

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME

December

9..................Wrigleyville Gay Boys Club



** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - When playing polio patients, the Bears must not disconnect knee braces.

2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Bears must not hide the football under their jerseys.



** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line for all you Bears fans that have never seen this ) it is still worth 6 points.

2 - The Bears will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.

3 - The Bears will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time.

4 - The Bears will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.

5 - The Bears will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.



** NAME CHANGE **

The Chicago Bears will be changed to the "Chicago Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string.



** COACHING CHANGES **

Dave Wannstedt will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!!"

Dave Wanstedt is legendary for ruining not one, but two NFL Teams in Chicago and Miami. He was Bears Head Coach Job from 1993-1998 (Way Too Long!)and then, was stupidly given the job of becoming Miami's Head Coach And General Manager! It makes you wonder, what did Dolphins Owner Wayne Huizenga see in his Bears Tenure that led him to say "We Love What You Did In Chicago and we want you to do the same thing here!" He went to Miami, and did the exact the same thing! He lasted until 2004, and then went back to his Alma Mater of Pittsburgh.

Bears and Dolphins fans sure hope he stays there.

Keep Lovie! He's Way Better Than Wannstedt!